Meet the Squirrel of the Month - Mr. P. Nutley
Title: Senior Acorn Logistics Coordinator
Department: Grounds & Foraging
Years of Service: 3 (or maybe 7—no one’s quite sure how squirrel years work)
Bio:
P. Nutley joined the team after a brief stint freelancing in park management and tree-based inventory control. Known for his boundless energy and questionable decision-making around road crossings, he’s become a beloved presence on campus. When not busy “reorganizing” the landscaping mulch, P. Nutley can be found conducting quality assurance tests on the local acorn supply (by hiding them in increasingly obscure locations and promptly forgetting where).
Favorite Quote: “If you love something, bury it for later.”
Fun Fact: Once stared down a vending machine for 45 minutes because he saw his reflection and thought it was a rival supervisor.
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